Hoping in God in Anxious Times
27 May 2020
Marilyn is part of the 2nd Congregation at RHC. She shares with us how the COVID-19 situation has affected her and her business, and what is sustaining her in this difficult time.
We are now on Day 10 of the circuit breaker measures and my mind has not ceased.
I find it hard to relax. I also seem to be very busy - busy with work and also busy with nothing. This is a sign of stress.
I am an entrepreneur and have a cold brew manufacturing business, primarily in the B2B sector. Since February, the business has started seeing a decline in orders from the effects of COVID-19. Many on-going negotiations came to an end and interest waned. Friends and service industry folks began to lose their jobs and I felt the weight of that. So I made a decision to not hold our customers to the terms of their contracts. I knew this decision would affect us as a company as we would have no earnings. The fear and stress are real - fear of the future, the effects it will have on the business and if, we will even have a company at the end of this virus situation.
I went through a few days of darkness, not knowing how to navigate my thoughts and make plans in this situation. I felt very alone and isolated, as if God had forsaken me.
This is what has helped me through these dark times:
Time with God
His Word
Journaling
Community
During one of my quiet times, I read 1 Peter 5: 7-11, which says, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.”
God spoke directly to my anxiety by telling me to cast ALL my anxiety on him. ALL of it. His grace alone will walk us through any difficulties. And this grace is found in Christ, who sacrificed himself and died for us on the cross. Those who call upon him will be saved, redeemed, and filled with a deep assurance of his presence, mercy and love. That is hope.
Journaling about God’s Word helps me to find clarity in what I read, to process my feelings and also my questions. I can see things more clearly when I have them written down. The truth of God’s goodness and sovereignty come into focus and the hope of his promise of restoration becomes clear.
In this challenging time, I can’t thank the many folks that have come alongside me enough. Folks at RHC, my CG, and other individuals. Some assisted me in practical ways at work, some prayed for me while others helped me work out my thoughts. They keep me accountable and give me the space to be vulnerable and voice my doubts and fears.
It is in this safe space of conversation that I am most comforted as I am directed back to the goodness of God, His Word and His truth.
My hope is in God. I continue to pray for strength to trust God with all of my heart and not to lean on my understanding. I take it one day at a time, finding love and grace to sustain me, and faith to see God at work in my life.