The Faithfulness of God in Adoption
Mike & Sandi, 1st Congregation
Mike
My name is Mike and this is my wife Sandi. It’s a real privilege for us to share what God has done in our lives this morning. I hope it will be an encouragement to you in your walk with God, and a reminder of God’s faithfulness as we share how God’s been faithful to us.
A little bit of background: we’re from Cape Town, South Africa, and we’ve been in Singapore for seven years now. We came here because we’re both teachers. And the Lord’s been faithful to us in the jobs that we have. We’re going to share a story of how God blessed us to be a family through the miracle of adoption. This is Madison, she’s three and a half, and we have an 18-month old, Jack.
Sandi
So when Mike and I first got married 13 years ago, we were both in full time ministry. Mike was the youth pastor at our church, and I was in children’s ministry. We’d always longed to have children of our own. However, six years and five miscarriages later, we were heartbroken, grief-stricken, devastated and confused. There were many Sundays when we would come to church and stand in the back with tears rolling down our cheeks, longing to have children. Our hearts were empty, our arms were empty, and those were some of the most difficult days of our lives.
In Psalm 127:3-5, it says, “Behold children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them.” And our hearts really longed for this. The events of those six years caused us to move to Singapore. We decided we needed a change in focus, and we wanted a new sense of adventure. So we applied for a few jobs throughout Southeast Asia, and accepted jobs in Singapore.
On Christmas Day 2011, with one suitcase each, not knowing what the future holds, we said goodbye to friends and family and left Cape Town for Singapore, a country we’ve never been to. We loved the change, but the desire to have children never left us.
We began looking seriously into the option of adoption in 2012. We met with many, many agencies, went for pre-adoption counselling, and met with people who have adopted. But every meeting left us feeling very overwhelmed and confused. And it seemed like an impossible mountain to climb. We also went to a new fertility doctor, hoping that new eyes might add insight and perspective, but no new answers came to light.
So we went through a period of trying to accept what it might look like being a married couple without children. And that was a very, very difficult thing to do. It was a hard and tough journey for us to go through. We decided that we would focus on the children that we did have in our lives, our nieces and nephews, our Godchildren, and the children that we taught at school.
After years of trying to accept the fact that we were not going to become parents, God gave us hope on the 11th of January 2015. We were in church, singing the song Oceans, by Hillsong. And as I sang these words, God spoke to my heart: Spirit lead me as my trust is without borders/Let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me/Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander/And my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Saviour.
Throughout that song I felt God saying that the time to adopt was now. And I had to fully trust him, whatever this journey might look like. So I leaned over to Mike and said I have something to tell him. And he leaned over and said I have something to tell you. And it turned out that God had spoken to both of us at the same time, that now was the time to adopt.
That date was very significant because exactly one month later, we brought our baby girl home. After getting in touch with an agency and being placed on their waiting list, we got the most amazing call four days later. There was a ten-day old baby girl for us. After four days of late night shopping at IKEA, we were ready.
On the 11th of February 2015, we brought home our daughter, Madison Grace. She was absolutely more than everything we could have hoped or dreamed of. And we were so incredibly grateful. About ten months later, the adoption was finalised, and she was officially a Gilmour Girl!
Fast forward about 18 months, we started thinking about adoption again. But we didn’t want to seem arrogant or forward in praying for another baby. We felt like, how could we ask God for another child when we should be grateful for this one child that we have? But we were reminded of the words in that song, and all the scripture that had spoken to our hearts over the years. So we began boldly asking God for another child.
A few days later, after meeting with an agency, we were matched with a birth mom who was 32 weeks pregnant and was going to place her son for adoption. So obviously, with a resounding yes, we were committed. Even though we knew a lot could change, and the birth mom could decide to parent, we planned as much as we could. And eight weeks seemed like a lifetime compared to four days. So on the 17th of November 2016, we got a text around noon and it said that our son, Jack Grayson, had been born at NUH.
The very next day, we got to bring him home. And that moment that we introduced Maddie to her brother, our hearts just exploded. We had been waiting for that moment for years. God had seen all the tears. He had heard all our prayers. He knew the desires of our hearts. They hadn’t come in the shape, or form, or timing that we had expected. But it was all in his perfect timing.
Both Jack and Maddie have Chinese names, which Niki Spencer helped us to prayerfully give them. And incredibly, both of their Chinese names are the exact names that their birth parents gave them on their original birth certificates. So here we are today, with two incredible children, testifying to God’s goodness, grace and love.
Today we are navigating the challenges of parenting with the added dimension of adoption, which has definitely not been an easy road, with many aspects and facets to navigate. But at the end of the day we want to point our children to Jesus, and we want them to grow up loving him and knowing him, and to find their identity in him. Above all, we just want them to know how loved they are.