The Light of My Life
Daniel, 3rd Congregation
Daniel
I did not realise that I am a prisoner of sin till I knew Jesus Christ my Saviour. When I helped others in the past, I did it for human approval and for favours in return. I thought that life is meaningless and wasted myself in the addiction of entertainment. Despite my best efforts to keep my life together, my school results slipped, my relationship failed, my family was broken and things which I sought my joy in were shattered. I had nothing at all to hold to and wondered if there is indeed something that is steadfast and does not get crushed easily. Thankfully, I found it in God.
Before my friend Eunice first invited me to RHC, Mr Seow, a teacher in my school, spoke to me frequently about my poor time management. He mentioned something that was very thought- provoking – that although I think I have the freedom to do whatever I want, it is the lure and addiction to stuff like entertainment that bounds me to it. As such, I really have little control over what I do. True freedom is instead found in doing what we are meant to do. It was only much later on through the Christian education in RHC that I realised that he was referring to my idolatrous human nature that God has to save me from.
John 1:5 says, 'The light (Jesus) shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it'. I am grateful that Jesus entered history, to shine his light into our broken and dark hearts. From reading the Bible, it became clear to me that I am a sinner, not just because of my actions, but because of my wayward heart and disordered worship. My sins in life made me realise that I desperately need the atoning work of Jesus Christ to be reconciled with a holy God, since I am fully deserving of His holy wrath against unrighteousness. It blows my mind that God would shower His love on us even though we rebel against him.
As a young believer, I started reading with Brandon (of the 3rd Congregation) a book by Tim Keller, “The Prodigal God”, in which he explained from Luke 15 the amazing grace of God for lost sinners. And through the joy of having such a great salvation, I can do good works such as forgiving others and overcoming my idolatry. This is only because I was first forgiven by God and have my great debts cleared by Him. This truth liberates me from my addictions for human approval. God’s love is so great that I desire to have more of Him, and other deceitful pleasures seem empty.
Being a Christian, God is continuing His work in my life. He revealed that relationship is still a significant idol in my heart. Through a disappointing experience with a failed relationship, God led me to a greater sorrow and showed me that I had placed my hope in having a relationship to satisfy me. I can only be thankful that God did not leave me to my own devices and showed me what true worship is. He injected my life with a purpose and meaning to seek the glory of Him who is my bedrock.
Having said that, I am still a work-in-progress that is prone to wander. Whenever I stray, my sins cloud my vision and satisfaction of God. I still seek the approval of the people around me. I still am obsessed about my career. I still fall into lust and am still pretty much self-centred. Thus, my baptism is the expression of my desire to die to Christ and be alive in Him. I am trusting in God’s grace and your prayers as the Body of Christ that I may persevere in the gospel faithfully to the end.
Thank you.