When God Gave Me a Chance
Brandon, 3rd Congregation
Brandon
About four years ago, I was a student in JC and back then I was just a nominal Christian, really I was an agnostic (which means I couldn’t care less if God existed) but my family and I still went to church. Admittedly, this was mainly so that the pastor wouldn't call us up.
Then when I was at the end of my JC1 year, Aik Keong approached me and asked casually about my Christian life. And he would never forget my answer to his question: “What do you do for quiet time?” Which apparently was playing computer games. But from there, he really challenged me with the truth of the gospel. Basically he challenged me and said: “Well if Jesus is wrong, you can live however you likes, but if he’s right there will be horrible consequences. So if you want to continue the way you are, you better make sure he’s wrong”
Now obviously (I was a pretty proud person back then and easily provoked by intellectual challenges) I was interested and agreed to let him go through the bible with me. Initially, I was very impressed with his presentation of the gospel and the Christian worldview, it was remarkably consistent and seemed to make so much more sense than any secular or pluralistic perspective. There was a certain rightness in the way it was presented that drew me, but I think at that point I was more attracted intellectually than anything and there was no real heart change.
I eventually also agreed to follow Aik Keong to church. The first church he brought me to was ARPC, in fact, the very second time I was following him to church, he said: “I’m going to check out this new church and behold that was RHC”. So I’ve been here since then actually. But I was attending church for one whole year but felt my heart extremely hardened toward the message, in my discussions with Aik Keong, I came up with a ton of intellectual objections and I knew I was rejecting the gospel, its implications and the claims it made on my life were simply too huge.
I can’t remember exactly when my heart was softened but I clearly remember one incident that I recall my heart being deeply moved. I was on the MRT, listening to one of John Piper’s sermons (AK asked me to take a look at them) When Piper, although that was not the main point, referred to a passage in Luke:
“Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.”
(Luke 22:31-32 ESV)
And it utterly stunned me. Note the context: Peter was going to betray Jesus and Jesus was just about to die on the cross for his sin and the sins of the world, and yet even then Jesus says he prays for Peter! I always thought of it as us praying to God, but here Jesus says that he prayed for Peter, even as he was about to deny him! I was suddenly confronted with my own sins: I knew I had struggled with lust and pride for a long time but I thought that for the last year, I was giving God a chance, giving him a chance to prove himself to me. But I realised that I was wrong, God was giving me a chance the last year, he actively pursued me and drew me to him, and I was actively refusing him for one year. And at that moment I thought: “How could I possibly refuse him?” And I sort of wept on the MRT, which is a pretty weird sight I admit.
I believe I became a Christian around then, although during the succeeding period. I was still plagued by doubts and still struggled greatly with my sins. But by God’s grace he’s been gently but firmly working in me, confronting areas of my life that I have not yet submitted to God. And it’s really been amazing how God has humbled and helped me to grow the past few years. But the details are a story for another time.